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After the Sweet Spot Workshop with Charla: Students reflect

What a wonderful image I hold in my mind after teaching my day workshop, Finding the Sweet Spot: How to Give and Get the Touch You Want.  I looked over a room of 22 folks, soft with pleasure, bodies draped over backjacks, so peaceful and content.  We had found such simple and satisfying ways to express desires and be touched.  We felt the safety and comfort that comes with authenticity and compassion.  One participant said, “Gee, that was the funnest time I ever had keeping my clothes on!”

After practicing the 3 Minute Game in duos and trios we reassembled for group feedback.  We brainstormed questions like, “Why is it hard to ask for what we want?”  What do we do instead?”  “Do we say yes when we mean yes, and no when we mean no?” and “What happens when we choose to be vulnerable?”   We learned about touch going in one direction, “for you” or “for me,” and why knowing the difference is important.   Each student earned stars towards becoming a ‘Pleasure Activist’ and we committed to a Pleasure Diet the next month, practicing the ways we learned to get more touch, more often, and more how we like it.

I left students with these closing words:  “Notice what you want—it is different that what you are ‘willing to give or allow’.  Notice what you want…value it, trust it, communicate it.  Your desires are your highest intelligence; they will steer you into a life of wonder.  Choosing what you want on your body is a Spiritual Act.  It is more important that any fancy things we do to each other.  The act of being ‘in choice’ at all times is more important than doing.  Deciding what happens on your body is the heart of self-respect, and the heart of erotic empowerment.”

by Intimacy empowerment coach, Charla Hathaway

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