BodyJoy

What is sensual massage?  And is it right for you?

Ever want a massage that validates you as a whole, breathing, sensual being? A massage where draping, or not, isn’t important?  A massage without judgments or expectations around you as being a naturally erotic, sensual person? Then sensual or erotic massage is right for you.

You learn to use breath, focus, intention and expressed boundaries to enter another way of being–timeless and treasured–suspended in pleasure without worry of ‘doing it right.’  Whole body massage, which may include the touching of breasts and genitals, asks you to articulate your choices which is a skill that enhances your sex life.

Sensual massage is not to be confused with sexual massage.  A sexual massage is about the expectation of receiving genital stimulation to sexually excite and result in sexual release. Rather, the intent of a sensual massage is about loosing expectations of any ‘result’ allowing you to feel and enjoy your body more in each moment. You lose the need ‘to go’ somewhere, perform, or ‘do’ anything.

The person giving a sensual massage is a teacher, an educator, and not an entertainer or actor. Touch is in one direction only, from practitioner to the client for the purpose of promoting pleasure, healing, self-awareness and empowerment. The client learns how to receive. Rarely do we have someone who can teach us how to receive, in regular sex  each partner is usually busy trying ‘to do’ the other, or get it right, or take care of the other. Erotic massage becomes the learning ground for truly beginning to feel, listen to and enjoy your own sensations–and deeply receive.  You learn to be relaxed and energized simultaneously.

Women clients often learn to express what kind of touch they desire, especially when they are not used to doing so.  They learn to be aware and express their own rhythm and determine the pace and pressure of touch on their bodies.  They learn to take pleasure for themselves instead of taking care of someone else.  Men often ‘sense’ their body in new ways.  They experience their whole body as an instrument of pleasure.  They no longer need to perform, have an agenda or need to ‘get somewhere’ with their pleasure.  Couples learn how to massage each other and discover new ways to please one another, new touching skills, new ways to talk about desires and boundaries, and ways to honor the whole body.

Sensual massage inspires respect and spirituality to your sexuality where therapeutic massage partitions the body into good and bad.  Instead, whole body massage treats you as integral being, whole, natural, deserving of pleasure, and capable of profound states of connection and peace with yourself, your sexuality, and all life.

Charla Hathaway, Certified Sexological Bodyworker, American College of Sexologists, is trained in Esalen massage and offers private sensual massage at BodyJoy.org.  She also teaches classes in sensual/erotic massage for men, women and couples and is featured on the Discovery Channel, spring 2011.