A New Pill for Women—Low Sexual Desire?
Big Pharma’s spent billions on a female Viagra. Women now suffer from–drum roll–Low Sexual Desire that can be fixed with Big Pharma’s answer—a new drug, Flibanserin.
Actually, in today’s world low sexual desire in women is a sign of health—women are so tired of status quo sex they are finally saying no more. They’re tired of male-agenda sex, bored and tired of penis-in-the-vagina centered sex, lack of romance, lack of sincere attention, the absence of intrigue and cuddling—they are saying no right and left. And rightly so. Their brand of sexuality, their rhythm, intrigue, fantasies and desires are largely untapped and unexpressed. So, tell me, will a pill fix that?
Women, you need a shot of bravery. If you’re not getting what you want, why are you not asking for it? Will your man run and hide? What do you want anyway? Here’s what I think is pretty sexy: a man who is more about ‘whole body touch’ and less about ‘going for the goods,’ more about ‘vulnerability’ and less about ‘knowing it all,’ more about ‘being present’ and less about ‘getting somewhere,’ more about ‘being’ and less about ‘doing.’ Now, Big Pharma, give him a pill for that!
As a sex coach I see many couples who want a better sex life. Recently a husband brought his wife in to ‘fix’ her ‘low sexual desire.’ I had them each detail their idea of a great erotic encounter. He spilled over with a steamy swing club scenario replete with toys, threesomes, and more. On her turn, shamefully she looked at the floor and finally sighed, “I don’t imagine sex scenes. I don’t fantasize.” I gave her lots of space and nudged her to tell a story she’d like to see happen—even if it didn’t look like his. She began hesitatingly, “We’re on a beach and he’s in a hammock. There’s a breeze and I’m rocking him and serve him a drink. He reaches over and touches my face where a palm leaf makes a shadow and traces his finger along my cheek, then down my neck to my shoulders where the light touches my skin.”
No magic pill is going to make her say that to him, it took a sex coach (in this case). No pill can help you research your desires, risk saying them out loud, make you say yes when you mean yes and no when you mean no. How do you become erotically mature and ‘choose’ what happens on your body? Pills don’t put you in the driver’s seat of your sex life! You do. As long as women don’t express the kind of sex they want, no drug is going to make them like what they’re tired of. And the last thing a mature woman wants is a man with a Viagra-driven cock pumping into her with no more consciousness than it had 10, 20, or 30 years ago.
Women, do you want that great feeling of desire surging through your body? Stop apologizing for and start initiating the kind of sex you want. Commit to your erotic self-awareness, self-trust and expression. Find your voice. Do the work. Take back your Body. And get off drugs—like anti-depressants that take away your highs and lows. Get high, get low—it’s life—live it! There are men who will support and cheer your steps toward authentic erotic expression. These men know the art of slowness, presence, telling the truth, being vulnerable and choosing pleasure over performance. And they didn’t get there by taking a pill. Do the work!
For mature women who are bored with Status Quo Sex, here’s a RX from the Sex Doctor (that’s me): 1) Stop putting up with the kind of sex you grew up thinking you were supposed to like. 2) Don’t let a man, let alone Big Pharma, tell you what your desire should look like. 3) Become a Pleasure Activist—Ride your pussy like a wild pony and make Pleasure your next Discipline–go on a Pleasure Diet! Do it for you or not at all! Your man will love it—or if not, get another one. And seek out a professional sex coach for a shot of confidence to get you back in the saddle. Check out my new online course, 7 Erotic Nights—a course in Pleasure for Partners. It’s fun, affordable, and will bring you and a partner homegrown intimacy that warms the heart and pussy.